I’ve been listening to Lisa Scottoline books on my phone. You may be familiar with Lisa’s books. She has two kinds…legal thrillers and girly books (ok, her website calls them Humorous Non-Fiction, but she discusses things like pedicures, mother-daughter relationships and Spanx, so… they’re girly books… but not girly books — if you know what I mean!) If you know me, you know I don’t read legal thrillers. I don’t like that kind of ‘thrill’ in my life. But, one week when there were no more of the regular series I listen to at my library, I picked up a Lisa Scottoline book (on CD). I enjoyed it very much. So, I’ve just started downloading her books onto my phone and I listen in the car. Or in the house. Or at the office. I like using my phone to download books, because I can listen in multiple locations. As opposed to the computer, where I can only listen at home and in the room where the computer is. Also, if I get a book on CD, I can listen in the car, but if I’m engrossed I either have to stay in the car or wait until my next drive somewhere to continue. It’s really hard to pop out a CD and start it again at the point you left off when you get into the house. With the phone, it just carries on from the last spot. Actually, it goes back a few seconds, which is nice. I heart it.
This week, I’m listening to “Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog“. The chapters are short and are generally unrelated. Well, they’re related because they all have to do with her life. But the chapters are not necessarily related to each other. Much like my blog – except when I do a series, like Christmas, or the week I did for my Daddy. But more importantly, is the voice. I have her voice in my head.
A few months ago, I spoke at church for the whole weekend. Five times. When I wrote my talk, I wrote it the way I usually did, but when I read it, I found myself emulating Lisa Scottoline’s voice. When I read the line, “Let’s say little Mary has just had her second child and is living in Minnesota. So why is she still listed with her parents?” Yes, it was Lisa’s voice in my head as I was reading this line, especially the is living in Minnesota part. .
When I write my blog, I mentally say the things I write. You know what I mean… I hear the words in my head. When I write, I hear a voice much like Lisa Scottoline’s in my head, but it’s MY voice, not Lisa’s. Well… I thought it was MY voice. Maybe Lisa is actually doing the voiceover in my head. It could be… you never know. But if she is, she isn’t getting paid for it. I have no money. Sorry Lisa.
But listening to her books makes me think I could write stuff like that… except that Lisa has a life and I don’t. Lisa writes books, has a daughter, four dogs and a pony. I’m trying to empty my house so I can move out before I run out of money. I spend all my time finding boxes and putting my life into them. Even though I don’t have much of a life, I’ve had a LONG life. So I have a lot of boxes. A LOT of boxes. But I digress. I could write the kind of “daily life” stuff that Lisa writes. And since I hear her in my head, I’m sure it would be a best seller. I think we could be friends, except she’s off carbs and meat. And she likes movies where things go boom. And football. And my guess is, if she likes baseball, she’s NOT a Yankees fan. But I’m almost certain, she wouldn’t be a Red Sox fan, so there is that.
Can you hear me, Lisa? It’s me…. Carol… and I’m heading North soon.