Cinnamon Hockey Pucks

IMG_0658Most Sundays, I indulge myself with a breakfast of Sausage Biscuit and Senior Coffee from McDonalds.  I get the coffee black, come home, pour it into my own cup and add my own fixins’.  Then I gobble down the biscuit and linger over the coffee — usually in front of the computer, checking to see what the rest of my friends are doing on Facebook.  

Yesterday, I was at Walmart for greeting cards, prescriptions and paper towels.  You know what that means, right?  I also bought Cheese-Its (how could I not?  the back-to-school individual packs were 12 for $4 — but the entire box was 12 servings for only $2.88.  I love Cheese-Its.  This discovery was God’s way of saying, “Carol, buy some of these today!“), body lotion (I was out of lotion, but it wasn’t on the list and had not been a part of my original shopping plan), and a bag of lightly salted [Great Value] potato chips.  A $1 bag of potato chips is hard to walk past, and the lightly salted made me think, “Well, at least they’re not super-salted so they’re not as bad for me!”  

Ice cream was on my shopping list, but ever-conscious of my financial limitations, I will only buy ice cream that’s on sale.  And something I just have to have.  Just because those Outshine bars are on sale, don’t think I’m going to be tricked into buying them!  They aren’t ice cream.  So, I wandered through the frozen food aisle, but didn’t find anything in my intended price range.  BUT… there at the end of the aisle, was the refrigerated dairy section.  Specifically, the refrigerated bakery section — you know the place I mean — the one with the tubes of cookie dough and the cans of doughy deliciousity.  I hemmed and hawed and then my eyes hit upon a mini-can of cinnamon rolls.  YUM!  They were destined for a trip to my kitchen!  

So this morning, since I’d gone to church last night, I wandered downstairs in my ‘jammies’ and put the coffee on, poured some OJ over ice (unadulterated… but there’s more left for a 2nd, adult beverage later!) and popped those 5 discs of cinnamonny goodness into the toaster oven set at the correct temperature.  In 13 to 17 minutes I’d be chomping down on some fluffy, gooey, cinnamon rolls.  My mouth watered as I anticipated them coming out of the oven, all hot and scenty.  

But.  I was disappointed.  When the timer binged, I rushed to the toaster to find flat little brownish things in the oven.  <insert sad face here>  I took one to ‘taste test’.  No, it didn’t seem ‘quite’ done.  So I popped them back in for another 4 minutes (the longer time allotment on the package) and woefully masticated the first disappointing roll.

BING!   Ahhhhh… they should be ready.  But no, they were still FLAT.  As flat as they were when I’d put them in there.  Something must be amiss.  Maybe the toaster oven was still set to ‘toast’?  No, it was clearly on BAKE.  Maybe instead of the 375 degrees they suggested, I should turn it up a little — after all, this is a toaster oven, not a full-oven (which I don’t turn on during the summer!)  So, I flipped the heat up a little higher and waited a few more minutes.

Now I had DARK BROWN hockey pucks.  Hard, crunchy, dark brown hockey pucks.  Not the fluffy pastries that I was anticipating.  

But, having grown up hearing about the starving Armenians and the children in Poland who would love to have my uneaten food, I ate two of them.  Smothered in the icing the manufacturer kindly provided.  Or maybe… it was hockey puck camouflage?

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