Fear

Fear runs rampant inside my house.  Not big fears like nuclear war or ISIS breaking down my door.  I don’t have fears like that.  I trust that our vigilant military will stop the bad guys before they get to Lawrenceville.

No, my fears are more along the lines of missing the garbage truck or missing out on my Friday Freebies.

Let’s start with the garbage truck fear.  Our trash is collected on Monday.  Many people in my neighborhood put their large blue wheely trash bins (and matching blue recycling bins) out at the curb on Sunday night.  But not me.  I might have something to add to it on Sunday.  And since I’m not currently employed, I’ve been able to do that on Monday at a leisurely pace because they usually don’t show up until some time between noon and 4PM. 

Except that a few weeks ago, they came around 10AM and I missed them.  And DAMN IT… I had a lot of stuff that week!  So the next weekend, I was ALERT and got the trash out before 9AM.  And they came around 10 again, so I was pleased! 

But yesterday I spent the day at church, working on a project.  I had to get up earlier than usual (to be there before 7:30 AM Mass began) and then, after 3 Masses, I had to come back later on for the 6PM Mass, after which I needed to ‘clean up’ the remains of my project and ask the pastor if there was anything else I could do to help him before I left for home. 

After such a strenuous and holy day, I decided to treat myself to a “don’t have to cook it” dinner — so I headed for Kroger, where I also picked up 2 of my Friday Freebies (one of which I’d forgotten about completely) and the loaf of bread that was on my list.  Then I’d found that I had a coupon for a FREE bag of frozen veggies.  Now I don’t eat much in the way of frozen veggies, but I’ve been looking for corn niblets to put into other dishes, and I thought, “a bag of corn would be nice”… especially if it was FREE!  While I searched the large area that encompassed Kroger frozen vegetables, 2 young men came down the aisle talking about pizza.  One of them passed by in front of me then dropped a full – and unopened – bottle of 7up on the floor.  It promptly exploded and soaked my pants, part of my shirt, got in my hair and all over the floor.  The young man stood there for some time looking blank (I suspect the pizza was to feed some intoxicated need), before eventually muttering “Sorry,” and scooting away.  My concentration was broken.  I forgot about the cheese I needed to buy.  I forgot about anything else that might have been in my brain, and was just agog that the kid didn’t even ask, “are you ok?”  or say more than just “sorry” before shuffling off.  Really.  Agog.  But I digress. 

All of this led to not thinking much about “more trash” to load into the blue wheely bin to prepare it for it’s journey to the curb in the morning.  I was concentrating on the snacky food I’d bought (a spicy chicken sandwich) and the Chocolate Paradise ice cream that was my big reward!  I then smooshed my legs with medicated ointment (per the doctor’s orders!) and tried to play Candy Crush (thanks, Kathy Hadala for re-addicting me to this!)  (that’s sarcasm… I’m not really that happy about it!)  but I kept drifting off to sleep.  So I decided it was bedtime.

And this morning, it being Monday, I needed to put the blue wheely thing and it’s accessory out at the curb by 9, BECASUSE I FEARED I’d miss the truck again.  I was awake (don’t ask why) around 6:30 (and surprised to see ‘light’ outside — I really thought it was much later) and thinking it was getting late I hurried into my flannel pants and hustled the blue yard accents out to their rightful place of honor… under the Bradford pear tree — where I must be mindful not to run over them with my car when I back out of the driveway.  Why not park them on the other side? The mailman said they’re too close to the mailbox. But… CRISIS AVERTED — for another week anyway.

Then there’s my FRIDAY FREEBIES.  Kroger has a promotion where every Friday they will load ONE free item to your Kroger card… provided you go to their website and say “download this coupon”.  Most of the stuff is good stuff I’ll use, but every now and then they offer some kid or pet item I have no use for.  Sometimes I download them and donate them to our Food Pantry at church. Sometimes I don’t.  The item is available on your card for about 2 (maybe 3) weeks.  Sometimes I get 2 items at once because I’m getting for the last 2 weeks.  Sometimes, like this week, I FORGET I have something loaded… like the iced tea I forgot about.  I didn’t NEED it, but it’s free iced tea, and I’m all about FREE stuff right now.  I’m also afraid I’ll forget to download my free thing on Friday.  I used to set an alarm but it would go off at just the wrong time, so I stopped doing that.  Now I have to rely on my own brain to remember.  But I’m always afraid I won’t.

Of course, I’m afraid of crawly and slithery and slimy things.  I’m a girl.  It’s my right to be afraid of such things.  I’m not saying ALL girls are, but people will understand if a girl is afraid of bugs or spiders moreso than a 200 pound guy with 1000 tattoos .  If you catch my drift.  I fear moving the shower curtain to turn the water on and finding a spider enjoying my tub. 

I have other fears.  Real fears.  Running out of money, getting sick and not being able to pay for it, losing my residence, and things like that.  But I try not to let those big things bubble up to the top. 

That would make me fear becoming an alcoholic.

 

 

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