It’s NOT my hair

I was very young when I was born, and I don’t really remember it myself, but in all the pictures of a wee little me, I have a full head of golden ringlets. In the pictures of grade school me, I have either long  “Shirley Temple” curls or a short, stiff “flip”. I remember woefully the nights of setting my hair with pink plastic rollers and then trying to sleep.  My hair was thick and curly and liked to be knotty at my nape.  In the high school and college pictures, my hair is as long and straight as possible.   

I spent my young adult years shuttling between my NY City-adjacent hometown and the Jersey Shore, one famous for hot, steamy summers and the other famous for saltwater drenched humidity.  My hair was not happy.  And don’t even get me started on the cold scarf-laden, muffler wearing winters!  I moved to Arizona and escaped the humidity (and the cold) — but it was Ar-i-zo-na and it was HOT, so I spent a lot of time wearing a ponytail.   Back in NYC-adjacent, I started to experiment with shorter styles to meant to alleviate the hair-stuck-to-the-neck look, but which resulted in a wider, frizzier look that could not be tamed with a ponytail because it was too short.

So… stick with me… a few months back, my niece who also has the curse of the curl, pitied her curl-infested aunt and sent me a flat iron.  I resisted using it, until one day when I thought, “maybe that thingy would reduce the frizzy ends” and I tried it.


Then I started to notice it… my hair not only got straighter, but it felt ‘different’.  And then it happened:  I started getting compliments on this new, straighter hair — this hair that felt ‘different’. 

This new hair is almost naturally straight.

This new hair is not thick and knotty.

This new hair doesn’t require a ponytail holder meant to make an actual PONY look attractive. 

This is not MY hair.

One night, when I was asleep, someone – probably elves – snuck into my room when I slept, removed all my thick, curly, knotty hair and replaced it with smooth, straight, unfrizzy hair.

Where were these people when I was in high school and long straight hair was the style and I was stuck with a pony tail and as many barrettes as I could manage and still maintain my <ahem> cool.

This is NOT my hair.

… but I’ve set up elf traps and they’re not getting it back!

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PS:  I think the real reason it’s straighter has to do with the specific combination of medications I’m taking these days. 

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One Response to It’s NOT my hair

  1. karen yazurlo says:

    you are so funny! i used to “iron” my hair to get it fully straight. my girlfriends would do it for me, because i tried it alone and singed my hair lol.

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