sunshine2A co-worker from Job 2 told me she thought I was “a big ball of sunshine” a few weeks ago.  She’s a new employee and I don’t know her well.  No one said she was hired to be the new manager, but it looks that way.  It would have been nice if someone would have said that.  I’d already begun to resent her new position — as a manager trainee, she is the LAST person who would have to do any register work.  When I’m really swamped, that’s a stinky thing to do.  She could be on the floor, just reshelving “go-backs” and I have to wait for the Manager On Duty (or, MOD) to come help me from wherever he or she might be… could be upstairs.  People glare at me and I think, WHY ISN’T SHE COMING TO HELP?  Wouldn’t that be GREAT manager training?  But no, she continues to re-shelve yarn, ribbon, thread and the like.

But, all that aside, she thinks I’m a big ball of sunshine.   How do you respond to being a ball of sunshine?

Then today, I was again accused of being sunny.  A gentleman called Job1 and asked for ‘the boss’, who was unavailable.  But when I answered the phone, he said, “Don’t you just sound like sunshine?”  Really… he said that.

I never purposely try to hide my sunshine under a bushel, but some days when I feel I’m being my sunniest, no one seems to take notice.  Instead, they rain on my parade.  Like when I was shining because I’d successfully printed a graphic for a co-worker (Job 1) and another co-worker accused me of trying to take over “her job” of helping co-worker 1.  (Which isn’t really an assigned job, but she’s been “doing” it every year so she feels she owns it.)  All I did was convert a PDF to a JPeG so I could play with it a little and she pretty nearly bit my head off.  This makes being a big ball of sunshine less attractive.  No one seems to notice the dirty doormat, but the nice clean one begs sunshine5to be soiled.

It would be easy to slide into the mud and become the dirty doormat and be doleful and dour all the time.  Would it help me?  No.  Would I feel better?  No.  Would others treat me better, employ me better, think positively about me?  No.

I guess it’s best that I remain the clean doormat, trying to remain that way, avoiding those muddy spatters by dipping and skipping away from the puddlejumpers.  It may not be advancing me much… but it feels better.

I’m a helpful kind of person at heart, and am at my best when I’m being helpful.  Maybe that translates into sunshine?  If only being a ball of sunshine paid better!

PS.  The reason I was originally called A BIG BALL OF SUNSHINE was that someone asked if we sold cheesecloth (she probably had no clue what it was) and after being given the CORRECT answer, I added the PS… “it’s in the dairy aisle.”  Job2 Coworker found this to be immensely amusing.  What can I say?  Either you’re a ball of sunshine or you’re not!

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