This was supposed to be yesterday (Friday’s) post, but I didn’t get it finished and just remembered it.
As I posted on Facebook today, this week has been a slap in the face.
It started on Monday when I went to see my primary care doctor as a follow up to my “incident” last month (you remember, when my blood pressure took a nose-dive and scared the wits out of my friends and me?) I was there for a “full physical” and I knew the outcome would not be happy. I don’t exercise, I don’t watch what I eat and I don’t take (besides my BP meds) the vitamins, etc. that I’m supposed to. He kindly suggested I change my diet — low fat AND low salt. That rules out most of the things that make up my current diet. In particular, my love of chips. Sadly, the lists he gave me says, “no pancakes, waffles, or French toast.” And my beloved bacon… … is being taken away from me.
Of course, I’m “po” so I need to eat up the food I already have in the house, right? I mean, I can’t throw away perfectly “good” food just like that. I just have to start replacing items I use with healthier versions or something else. [I’m still working on a substitute for chips & bacon…] But, I’ve started. When I ran out of ICE CREAM, I bought fat free sherbert. It’s a start, right? I also got reduced fat (or was it fat free?) peanut butter to replace the jar that’s nearly empty. Another start.
Anyway, when Tuesday rolled around, I went to the ophthalmologist, who told me “TSK TSK” for not using my eye drops to control my eye pressure. I explained that when I ran out, I was told I needed to come in for an appointment, and not being able to afford that, I went without. He tsk tsk’d again and wagged his finger at me in reproach. I was sorry, but financially, it could not be helped. Of course, this being the case, WalMart was out of BOTH of the medicines he prescribed, and so here today, Friday, I will finally be able to get them and resume my diligent drop-taking.
On Wednesday, I went to see a man who was referred by a friend who said he’d “help anyone looking for a job”. I dusted off my resume & reference list, grabbed some examples of my work, and after Job 1 I headed off to see him, a few towns over. Yes, he was somewhat eccentric, and yes, he seemed to be knowledgeable, but he had (in my opinion) a poor “bedside manner”. We had a hard time talking to each other. I thought I should say one thing, he questioned why I said that. He asked me a question, and I really had no answer. BUT, he did say that I’m not applying for as many jobs per week/month as I should be, and for sure he’s right. So I’m hanging my head and dragging myself kicking and scratching to the job sites daily now and trying to increase my application rate.
Thursday brought no specific trouble, except that one lady at Job 2 who was pretty upset when I told her that our return policy was not to take anything back that had been sold as “damaged” and for a reduced price. Although I was able to take back all the items she brought back, she mumbled constantly about how she’d never shop here again, and as I bit my tongue (thinking, well, our competitor probably has a similar return policy and you won’t be doing any better there) I did hear her say, “you’re not even saying anything.” My mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all…so I didn’t.
At last… Friday — my day to “sleep in”. Except that I woke up at 4:18 a.m. and it took about 1/2 an hour to get back to sleep. I was awakened by what I thought was the alarm on my phone. I didn’t pay any attention to the time, but I did roll over and shut it off. Gradually, it dawned on me that the Tour de France would be on this morning and I had better turn it on or miss it. About that time, the “alarm” went off again. Imagine how surprised I was to find out that (1) it was my phone, not my alarm, and (2) it was 9:15! I let the phone go into voice mail.
This message was from the doctor I saw on Monday. IN ADDITION to the lowfat and low salt, now I need to think low cholesterol and MORE Vitamin D. Oh, and come back in 3-4 weeks.
While I was eating lunch with some Job 1 co-workers today, Job 2 called asking if I’d like to go in and catch an extra shift. I said no. I could use the money, but I’m working at 8 a.m. tomorrow and the thought of being there till 10-ish again tonight was not appealing. Oh, and that pain in my back has returned, making standing for 5 hours unappealing as well.
At lunch, I recounted all of this to my lunch mates. I let them know that my new diet would probably consist of grass and dirt and maybe some water. We nearly laughed our Depends off when one of the ladies suggested “rice cakes”. “I’m not that fond of them,” she said, “but they’d be tasty for you.” I weighed my options: Rice Cakes or grass with dirt.
It’s not going to be an easy choice to make.
Anyway, this could go two ways and I’m not sure which way it’ll go. Either I’ll embrace my new dietary restrictions, use my eye drops religiously, and apply for every job that pays money, or… I won’t. Maybe I’ll do some of each, maybe one entirely but the others not at all… Only time will tell if this slap in the face will beat me down or wake me up.