My mother is driving me to drink. And with the medication I’m on, I’m not supposed to drink, which adds to the frustration!
She complains all the time about how I need to “get rid of all that junk”, yet when I visit, she loads my car up with her unwanted tchachkies. Most recently, a pasta maker.
In the past few years, I’ve become quite adept at making our traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner – pierogi. Using a combination of recipes from two different relatives, I’ve come up with a pretty good balance of ingredients to make a tasty dough and a sweet cheese filling. But I still have some issues rolling out the dough.
My first attempt yielded a dough that shrank each time I rolled it out. I’d roll, it’d shrink. I’d roll faster, it’d shrink faster. I rolled smaller batches and really put my back into it. Eventually, I wound up with dough that wasn’t thin enough for her liking, although it was fairly tasty and did the trick.
She bought me some pastry doo-dads that work like this. You line the doo-dad with dough and add your filling. Then you close the doo-dad which creates a semi-circular dough packet – theoretically sealed – all in one motion. I’ve never used them. They seem like too much work.
So she came up with the pasta maker idea. A friend was getting rid of one and she took it. It was a few years before I drove back to NJ and had room enough to bring it home. It went like this:
Mom: Here, take the pasta maker to make the pierogi dough.
Me: I don’t want it.
Mom: Take it. Maybe it will help.
Me: I don’t want it.
Mom. I’ll put it in the car.
So now I have a pasta maker I’ll never use and have nowhere to store because of all the other junk I haven’t gotten rid of yet. And I feel like I need to keep it for when she comes this winter. I can just hear it now.
Mom: Where’s the pasta maker?
Me: In the garage somewhere.
Mom: I thought you were going to use it to roll out the dough.
Me: I don’t think so.
Mom: Then why did you take it?
There is a bottle of wine in the fridge that will go bad if I don’t get to it soon. Maybe just a shot… or six.